Sunday, August 24, 2014

A January like no other...

January started off with our return back to Co from our family visit for the holidays. We were happy to home and enjoying some of the snow. And then my phone rang.

I was sitting at my desk on Monday January 13th when I received a call that you never want to receive. A friend of mine from California called to share the news about our friends daughter suddenly passing the day before. In an instant, I couldn't breath as I choked on my tears and my heart was ripped out of my chest thinking of the pain of my dear friend M.  We shared our wedding planning- getting married 1 day apart; announcing our "early" pregnancies at the same time; we shared our baby registry and all our up's and downs of being pregnant. Our daughters were born a week apart, we had our first playdate after the hospital with them, and we had our final playdate with them the day before we moved away. How could this be? How could something so awful happen to a family that had so much love to give and are wonderful parents? I am sure my friends will wonder this for the rest of the their lives and I don't mean to make their grief in anyway about me. We share in their grief and feel that loss every day when we see our beautiful daughter. 

I was able to fly to So Cal to be there for the services which were beautiful and gut wrenching. I wanted to be near my friends and to support in any way I could. There was no cause determined for the reason for the death and that was very hard- not knowing. The news would come a few months later that little B had passed because of an infection had attacked her little heart. 1 in more than 1 million die from this. This was truly unbelievable. 

I returned home and it took me a good few months before I didn't shed a tear at least once a day thinking of their family and the hard road in from of them. If my sweat pea has so much as a sniffle I'm ready to trek over to Children's hospital. I think I will be that way forever. Forever changed. 

I have to say, we have lived away from OC so I didn't really know the little girl that B had become.... she was barely 2 when we left but the stories I heard and how the family described her is no surprise. You could see that twinkle in her eye when she was little and I see that twinkle now when looking up at the stars shining in the sky. 

She will be missed by so many ~ more than words can say. 


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